Coming Distractions
May. 18th, 2003 02:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aberrantangelsThe following trailer has not been approved by the Motion Picture Association of America, but I like to think I've made one they'd consider safe for the target audience. This film has not yet been rated. Hell, it only just started filming a month or two ago. The concept is modelled on the jacket flap of the Scholastic hardcover, from which all the quotes are taken.
[Warner Bros. logo appears; music begins.]
Newsreader: The public are warned that Black is armed and extremely dangerous.
Vernon Dursley: Hang on! You didn't tell us where that maniac's escaped from!
Stan Shunpike: Black woz a big supporter of You-Know-'Oo.
Harry Potter: What, Voldemort?
[Music abruptly stops, then begins swelling into the "Harry Potter" opening theme.]
Ron Weasley: No-one knows how he got out of Azkaban.
Stan: 'Cos 'e's mad, inee, Ern? Inee mad?
Ernie Prang: If he weren't when he went to Azkaban, he will be now.
[Glimpse of a towering, robed figure with the greyish, rotting hands of a long-drowned corpse.]
Harry: What was that?
Remus J. Lupin: A dementor. One of the dementors of Azkaban.
Cornelius Fudge: I met Black on my last inspection of Azkaban. [...] I was astounded at how little effect the dementors seemed to be having on him.
Harry: When they get near me...I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum.
Lily Evans Potter: Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...
[A high cold laugh, followed by a scream.]
Ernie: Talk about summat else, Stan, there's a good lad. Them Azkaban guards give me the collywobbles.
Molly Weasley: But no-one's really sure that Black's after Harry--
Arthur Weasley: The guards told Fudge that Black's been talking in his sleep for a while now. Always the same words: "He's at Hogwarts...he's at Hogwarts."
Hermione Granger: Sirius Black escaped to come after you? Oh, Harry...
Arthur: Harry, swear to me you won't go looking for Black.
Ron: How thick would Harry have to be, to go looking for a nutter who wants to kill him?
Draco Malfoy: If it was me, I'd want revenge. I'd hunt him down myself.
Sirius Black: There'll be only one murder here tonight.
Fudge: The worst he did isn't widely known.
Black: Going to kill me, Harry?
Harry: You killed my parents.
Black: I don't deny it.
Fudge: I must say, You-Know-Who alone and friendless is one thing...but give him back his most devoted servant, and I shudder to think how quickly he'll rise again...
Black: Brave of you, not to run for a teacher. I'm grateful...it will make everything much easier.
[Shock cut to black.]
THE PRISONER ESCAPES
[Warner Bros. logo appears; music begins.]
Newsreader: The public are warned that Black is armed and extremely dangerous.
Vernon Dursley: Hang on! You didn't tell us where that maniac's escaped from!
Stan Shunpike: Black woz a big supporter of You-Know-'Oo.
Harry Potter: What, Voldemort?
[Music abruptly stops, then begins swelling into the "Harry Potter" opening theme.]
Ron Weasley: No-one knows how he got out of Azkaban.
Stan: 'Cos 'e's mad, inee, Ern? Inee mad?
Ernie Prang: If he weren't when he went to Azkaban, he will be now.
[Glimpse of a towering, robed figure with the greyish, rotting hands of a long-drowned corpse.]
Harry: What was that?
Remus J. Lupin: A dementor. One of the dementors of Azkaban.
Cornelius Fudge: I met Black on my last inspection of Azkaban. [...] I was astounded at how little effect the dementors seemed to be having on him.
Harry: When they get near me...I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum.
Lily Evans Potter: Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...
[A high cold laugh, followed by a scream.]
Ernie: Talk about summat else, Stan, there's a good lad. Them Azkaban guards give me the collywobbles.
Molly Weasley: But no-one's really sure that Black's after Harry--
Arthur Weasley: The guards told Fudge that Black's been talking in his sleep for a while now. Always the same words: "He's at Hogwarts...he's at Hogwarts."
Hermione Granger: Sirius Black escaped to come after you? Oh, Harry...
Arthur: Harry, swear to me you won't go looking for Black.
Ron: How thick would Harry have to be, to go looking for a nutter who wants to kill him?
Draco Malfoy: If it was me, I'd want revenge. I'd hunt him down myself.
Sirius Black: There'll be only one murder here tonight.
Fudge: The worst he did isn't widely known.
Black: Going to kill me, Harry?
Harry: You killed my parents.
Black: I don't deny it.
Fudge: I must say, You-Know-Who alone and friendless is one thing...but give him back his most devoted servant, and I shudder to think how quickly he'll rise again...
HARRY POTTER
AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
Black: Brave of you, not to run for a teacher. I'm grateful...it will make everything much easier.
[Shock cut to black.]
